Doggy manners

When Dave and I are on our own with Ben, he is extremely well behaved. However, when we have visitors it's a different story. At dog training they advised us to keep him on a lead until he settled down with people, but this does not seem to be working. We had several people round during the week, so I put him on his lead and made him sit, then lie down. He then proceeded to do his Staffie " swim " across the floor until he was the full length of the lead, and then it was a battle to stop him going any further. If I let him off, he really pesters everybody for attention and doesn't settle at all. Eventually I shut him in the hall, which is ok as he doesn't bark or scratch the door, just lies down,, but I feel this isn't socialising him at all. Anyone got any tips to overcome this? Nobody ever sees the lovely side of Ben, which I'd like them to ,as Staffies have such a poor name.

As those of you familiar with Tucker's rehabilitation, you will know that this was exactly one of his traits, but we could not put him in his crate or out of the room without him spinning or destroying things to get the focus of attention back on him. We had a dinner party where for the whole four hours he was kept on a short lead at our feet and it was an absolute nightmare. We were glad to see our friends off, because as soon as the door closed he just went totally back to calm.

Well, wind on a couple of months and a two week rehab with Kate, and at the weekend we had our first visitors. Before they arrived, we put Tucker in his crate. There was a bit of staffie backchat when they arrived, but a couple of corrections (going into the room and telling him to settle) and he was quiet. We then ate our dinner in peace. Then into the lounge, and after a couple of minutes, we let him out of the crate on a lead and did controlled introductions. He jumped up, so he was corrected and brought back to our feet and told to settle. He went to sleep and in the end we removed his lead, and asked our friends to call him over but not to tolerate him jumping up. He did put his two front paws up and tried to lick their hands, but he was corrected and I called him back and he settled alongside me for the whole evening.

Now, I can't say that this is what you need to do Ann, but I do think that it's the respect that Tucker now has that I am his leader that makes all the difference. You will see from my thread on Tucker that the training regime has been extremely harsh, and at times I have really fought against the desire to give in and just cuddle him. I have also had to put aside the thought that 'well, he's okay around us, so it doesn't matter if he misbehaves for a tiny proportion of the time'. It does matter. Having a dog that actually listens to you when he is excited and you can get control of him is very important, but it comes with a heck of a lot of patient training (and friends or family who are willing to act as stooges).

After you have put him in the hall, is he calmer? Could you then reintroduce him to the visitors, again on a lead? The key with Tucker is that if after the introduction he shows no manners, then he is brought back to me and kept on the lead (no swimming across the room) until he calms down again.

Every dog is different, and I know with Tucker the behaviour was very extreme (jumping straight for hands and grabbing sleeves, with occasional catches of the skin too). His intention has never been nasty though, and I'm sure the same is true of Ben. It's just the pure excitement of the moment and the need for the attention to be all on them.

I can't second guess your behaviour with Ben, but I do know that I thought that Tucker respected me, but he obviously didn't. I know that to get Tucker where he is now, has not just been centred around his behaviour with visitors, but has been about the behaviour in everything that he does, and I don't think that I related how much the background training would affect the 'problem' areas.

I have to say that if he was my dog, and I wanted to get to the bottom of this problem, I would actually pay for a session with Kate, just to get the feedback and observation of his behaviour and his interaction with you and Dave. Kate gives a discount for FDR dogs, and unlike some other behaviourists that charge the earth and deliver very little, she is extremely good value for money. A two hour introductory session would probably be enough to give you solid advice on how to proceed. I think this would cost around £50-£60.

Thanks Ria, definately food for thought. The other problem ( although, of course, part of it ) is that Ben is easily distracted and then ignores commands. When out walking alone, we can call him and he comes back and sits to have his lead on. When other people are around, he comes back but refuses to sit or make eye contact. I won't let him get away with this, but have to push his hind quarters down with a firm " Sit ".He will look anywhere, but at us, almost saying " Go on, make me then ".

As crazy as it sounds, this training around Tucker's food is all about re-inforcing who is boss and the fact that he can only eat when I say so, and not a minute before. The distractions do make the ears go cloth-like, but I have noticed that as times goes on, the behaviour around other distractions, like dogs in the forest, is much more controllable than it ever was, and again, I think that's to do with the reinforcement that starts with his food. Kate told me that you can show the brainier breeds, like collies and GSDs, a certain thing once and the next time they can work it out for themselves, but with the bullbreeds it needs consistent, positive reinforcement to make it eventually click and be done automatically. I see tiny steps of improvement with Tucker, not huge strides, and I appreciate we're in it for the long haul, but when I look back to the day I took him from the kennels (and you were there and saw it for yourself), you realise that these tiny steps do add up. Bit like dieting really. Don't want to go on the liquid only diet to see massive results in a short space of time, only to go back to reality and put on all the weight and then some! The same with Tucker's training. Even when I think there's no more improvement to be made, I have to carry it on and make it part of my life (my healthy lifestyle in diet terms), so that it becomes a lifestyle change for him too.

This is very interesting as Milly our staffie greets people beautifully outside- but in the house she can be OTT..constantly wanting a fuss and basically in their face. Last night we had visitors round and she made a bee line for them and so i put her on the lead until she calmed down-which i hate doing as all the dogs think its walkie time.. it seemed to work tho..kept her by me no nonsense and when i felt she gave up i let her off and she ran to them but must of thought sod this she'll put me back on the lead again but it would be nice tht when guests come in that she didnt pounce of them- i believe its because i have spoilt her or should i say Rich has! (we treat her like a human) shes our baby!!Regular people that come and go she doesnt bother with its only folk that we see once in a while and some folk she will get more excited about than others.

Elka, our Nico is the complete opposite. He lunges at new people to say hello when he's outside on the lead, but inside he's relatively calm. Sort of!

With Nico, we put him on a short lead and move him away from the door, then get him attention by getting him to sit/down/wait for a small bit of food. Luckily the only visitors we've had that have stayed for a long time were used to hooligan dog behaviour and now Nico just does his macho thing and then goes and lays by the fire, oblivious.